Day 5 – Monday
After a night of consolation beers, we woke up ready for the long trip back to Sheep Land. We woke up, chucked the kettle on, and put up the roller shutter blinds to reveal the most glorious of days outside! f
View from breakfast. I was very proud of my little nugget of an MX5
First order of the day was getting Mick’s car into a driveable state. A state in which continental coppers wouldn’t pull him over and give him a good gaping for some more money that he didn’t have. So out came the zip ties, duct tape and hammers – A Team style!
The below screengrab from a video we took shows how little gap there was between the bent wing and tyre. We tried to bend this back with wheel wrench, spanners, the lot. It wasn’t working. So we took to drastic, arguably dangerous measures.
We broke out the tow rope, attached it to the heaviest car, Craig’s, then attached the other end to the offending bent wing. What you are about to see was performed by highly skilled and trained imbeciles and should not be replicated by amateurs
This was just one video of one attempt. There were many failed attempts which did result in a a few bum-twitchy moments.
However, it worked a treat and, given we were performing this feat of death right outside the ticket booth in Adenau, it gave the on-looking marshals a good giggle! One even came out for a chat and to take some footage of the dumbass Welsh blokes trying to kill themselves in the most inventive way possible
Ecstatic at our bodge and that we were still alive with all limbs intact, the next thing we wanted to do was to hit the local supermarket and purchase a well-earned trophy of our time at the Ring. Something we could bring home that would show our peers that we are, in fact, superior in every way. Something they would see on our cars that would make people say “Wow. Guy’s got balls!”. Something to make us the envy of our motorsport-loving friends. A sticker. A proper, bona-fide Nurburgring sticker, bought from the actual place. Not something of eBay for chavs in Corsas whose only claim to driving the Ring is in a Veyron on Gran Turismo, or their replica, kitted up chav mobile on Forza! This was the real deal folks!
Six. f
Reluctantly, because we’re tight, the purchase was made and we made haste to adorn our cars with the best, self-proclaimed accolades the euro shrapnel in our pockets could buy!
We was well chuffed, innit.
Next stop was to get the equally cringe worthy picture of our cars underneath the large “Nurburgring” sign outside the Grand Prix circuit.
Content with our amazing photography skills, we set sail for our next destination. A recommendation from someone we met at our hotel, a Go-Kart session at Karting Eupen. Apparently one of the biggest karting venues in Europe situated in, well, Eupen. In Belgium. It was about an hour and a half drive through some nice twisty roads where we encountered some British bikers making some very nice progress.
After the twisties, we got onto the open road and, having little experience driving in Germany, wondered why everyone was driving so fast! Then, it dawned on us. f
I managed a healthy 125mph before hitting the limiter (My MX5 has the Torsen 4.1 ratio diff fitted). The car was absolutely planted! It pleased me how solid it felt at those speeds.
We advised Mick against going over 70 in case his car disinitegrated!
Not long after, we arrived at the track, paid our 20 Euros and were sent to get suited and booted. Top tip – whatever size you think you’ll be, for the save of your testes, choose the next size up else you’ll end up with the finest of a man-sized moose-knuckle and a soprano voice
The track was impressive, long sweeping chicanes you could hit flat out and more technical hairpins:
I’ve got some good footage of the battle between me and Craig that I’ll get uploaded to YouTube and post a link. Mick was nowhere to be seen! One thing though, we were sharing the track with some old fellas and, well, there’s no other way to say it other than they absolutely smashed all three of us. Best lap of the track was 54 seconds. They were consistently in the 59 seconds and none of us three managed to get a lap in under a minute
After we’d compared laps and let the adrenaline settle down, we hit the road again aiming for Dunkirk. I’d promised the Mrs some Belgian Chocolate, so a quick “Ok Google” and we’d found a nice little shop selling boxes of the finest Belgian chocolate. We didn’t have any cash left on us after splurging on the sticker-trophies and the shop didn’t accept Visa (WTF!). No probs, Mastercard? Err. Nope. Christ. Google to the rescue for the nearest cashpoint and we were soon back on the road, fully laden with out “So we can come next year again then, yeah?” box of goodies
Hitting the 1000 miles milestone on the way back
The final leg. We made it to the port by about 6pm and our ferry was booked for 8pm. Unfortunatley there weren’t any earlier ferries due so we had to stick about.
Oh, I forgot. Craig managed to collect a hitchhiker at the port :rollseyes:. A German bloke trying to get to Liverpool but couldn’t board unless he was in a car. So Craig scooped him up and we now had a fourth member of the band
Craig kept the sign he was using as souvenir
Whilst we were at the port, we had a lot of time to burn. We also had a few tins of spray paint. And a knackered car. Need I say anymore?
Safe to say it got some funny looks
The MX5 was still doing well. Although the miles had had a significant effect on the eBay special coilovers I’d fitted. The ride had began to get very bouncy in the last few hours before arriving at the port. Not surprised considering the shocks appeared to be made from dairyleigh dunkers. You can see the back end sitting very low in this pic. From behind, the wheels had also began to camber somewhat.
Also, my gummed up decat had failed again and was leaking. Badly. It sounded like something Spielberg would use as audio in Jurassic Park. But I was passed caring as my arse had been utterly destroyed by the Sparco after 1200 miles. I’m going to need one of those donuts pregnant women use.
We waited in the café type waiting room thing which consisted of 4 vending machines and some seats. I paid 3.80 euros for a plain chicken sandwich
The ferry arrived and it was finally time to board, German friend in tow:
Whilst on the ferry, we helped our new compadre figure out the best way to get to Liverpool and planned to drop him at the nearest train station in Dover. There was about 40 minutes between the ferry landing and his train leaving. But, the ferry was delayed landing due to some technical issue. By about 30 minutes.
I knew I needed fuel, so I found a petrol station on our route back and plan was set. Craig and our new friend would head off to the station and meet Mick and I at the petrol station. The ferry landed and it was a race against time to get him to the station. Meanwhile, Mick and I headed for the petrol station but were lured by the bright lights and smells of a Maccy D’s.
With a 4 hour drive ahead, this is just what I needed!
Craig arrived about 10 minutes later having arrived at the station a gnats b
All reunited, we chowed down and headed for Sheep Land!
After multiple energy drinks, snickers bars, sweets and ear-drum-exploding loud music, we made it home.
All in all it was a cracking trip. Yes, the Ring was amazing but it was just a part of an overall amazing roadtrip through Europe. It was a massive learning experience for us all and we can’t wait to go back! Next time, will likely be on a dedicated track day to avoid any unexpected costs!
We’re planning another European trip next year that will likely incorporate the Ring again. But will be more focussed on some of the Alpine driving roads in Switzerland, Austria and Italy.
Hope you’ve all enjoyed reading and once the GoPro footage is uploaded to YouTube, we’ll post some links for a giggle!
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